What really matters?

Let me just start out by saying I hate emotion!

Not really all of them just the bad ones. I reach for the good emotions – joy, laughter, and peace – and I try to avoid with a vengeance sadness and anger. A lot of times the two latter ones come out when I’m exhausted and need more sleep. I’ve always felt that my kids deserve better than who I am when I’m angry and yelling. They deserve a mom that takes care of herself even to the extent of leaving the dishes for a moment or laundry and taking a nap. Dishes can wait. If you don’t take care of yourself chances are no one else will. That nap or moment to refresh yourself can be more precious than gold.

If you took a walk around our house you would see a perpetual, ever changing, pile of laundry on the couch these days. It’s been that way for at least a year. They’re clean just not put away. If you need a clean towel or washcloth go look in the pile you’ll probably find one. There are times when I go to the pile more often than I go to get something from my dresser. My kids are so used to not having a cleared off couch they sit on the piles as if they don’t exist. In fact, I’m a little suspicious they prefer it that way like sitting on little mountain all their own.

In our house, you will find a family with a sense of humor and a high tolerance for mess because those things just don’t matter as much as the people inside this house.

Now come into my kitchen where there’s no dishwasher except this tired mom. There are dishes in the sink most days and yes quite often with a bit of food dried on. Remember, those things just don’t matter but a good day of school with my kids, a rare walk around the block when we can, a talk with my husband, a nap or getting to bed on time when I just can’t go any longer. Those are the things that matter!

This spring, my main goal has been to lay out in the sun for at least a little bit each day. I am no sun bather I simply want to soak up a little Vitamin D. Such wanton laziness when there are mountains of work to conquer in my house… Yes! And I excuse it too. It’s what I need to keep sanity in an insane world! Living so far north we are all deficient in precious Vitamin D. It’s something that we need to function and the pause in my day helps me to refresh ME.

Because that’s what really matters!

What about them?

What happens when you see someone in distress or living in stress and fatigue? Will you walk beside them? Will you run after them and let them cry and rant? And maybe even cry a little with them?

I was at church and saw that something was wrong. I sat and talked for a moment with her. Her night had been short, her morning long and at church one comment from someone she didn’t even know had been a bad moment for her. After church, I heard and saw another bad moment in her day and when I heard the loud ranting, yelling and storming out of church, my one thought was “Oh, no,” and I ran down the stairs. I knew something was wrong and had gone from bad to worse.

What would you have done? As I sat with her, I cried with her and let her pour out her stress and weariness. Yes, stress! After such a bad morning, she was listing all the things that she needed to do when she got home and then maybe she could take a nap. “Take the nap first and take care of yourself!”

I didn’t know I would be there or that I’d be the one to run after her and cry with her. If you know me you’d know how much I hate crying and try to avoid it. What made me go after her? Because it mattered! And I’m glad that I did! She is worth the tears and the caring. People always are! In life, we have all found ourselves at one time or another at the point where stress is just too much for us. It happens.

Take care of yourself! Leave your to-do list for a moment. Take a pause on life’s business and ask yourself “what can I do to refresh ME”. People matter! I matter! Quite often the things we thought were so important can wait for just a little longer.

The dishes can wait. What can you do for your mate or your kids?

What can you do for YOU?